Ropes and surrender in romance and erotica seem to be the hottest rage when it comes to sexual fantasies. A recent survey states the opposite when it comes to the top sexual fantasies for both women and men. It is on purpose that I mention women first, since women take more time becoming mentally engaged in sex than men. Sure, both men and women have hot fantasies and enjoy foreplay, but if you really want the most intense orgasm best take time to let the woman’s mind run wild.
In The Mask Series, the main character, Adele Walker, discovers that sex with her husband is better since she started sharing fantasies with him. Her fear subsides and she begins to offer more once she learns that her husband Jason gets turned on with erotic fantasies, and even more intrigued when he hears her speak of things she has done in reality.
In a recent survey the top two subjects for women are fantasies that bring up romantic emotions followed by having sex in an unusual place. In my stories the unusual places include a secluded beach, the back patio by the pool, an office, and oral sex while the guy drives. That last one also hits another of the top fantasies, oral sex.
With the growing trend for more romantic erotica, is all this emphasis on fantasies a good thing?
Erotica has been perking interests for as long as mankind has been around. People love sex. From cave paintings to ancient Greek vases erotica has held our attention. In books like Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure in 1749, when it was banned and only made legal to sell in 1963. Then the seventies came along and the floodgates to erotic literature opened. There was The Joy of Sex, by Dr. Alex Comfort. The joy was only beginning to spread as Xavier Hollander published The Happy Hooker and Nancy Friday, released My Secret Garden. These writers led the way for the recent success of the 50 Shades of Grey series.
Demand for erotica has always been around, and always will in some form whether its art, literature, sculpture, online adult sites, to secret fantasies. We like our dirty talk.
We all are sexual creatures, however today there is a risk that our inner ‘turned- on’ thinking can be easy to forget with all the stresses of our everyday lives. Living a balanced and healthy life requires staying in touch with our inner desires more than texting recipes and sharing pictures of your latest meal on social media.
Here’s a physiological fact that supports my books and the thousands of others available today. Satisfying our sexual needs boosts endorphin levels, which lowers stress and increases contentment, relaxation, and happiness. So, the next time you feel like quitting your job, smacking someone, or kicking the dog, sit back open up your tablet and read yourself into a state of bliss. Taking this up a notch, if you go through an entire week without a sexual thought, decide to make an effort. This exercise is a lot easier than driving to the gym and tread milling your self into a sweat. Ten minutes each day may be better than that Pilates class. Fantasize anything you want. This is no place for the timid and there is no time for writer’s block. Go and be bold. Try some of the following ideas to jumpstart your own inner wild person. One of my books may be a good place to begin as you see what the characters experience.
Imagine yourself having sex with your partner in some bizarre place, or anyone in your daily life who turns you on. It’s a fantasy.
A little erotic daydreaming might unlock sexual fantasies you never even knew you had. And the more you think about sex, the easier it is. The power of sexual thinking keeps you connected to your sensuality and makes it easier to “turn on” once you’re with your partner.
Living longer healthier lives is at stake. Couples that play together, stay together. Many couples play out their fantasies with sex toys. Every woman on earth has fantasized about some explicit sexual fantasy. She may be reluctant or ashamed to talk about her secret desires. Most women prefer to keep their fantasies secret. The good news is, more and more women are opening up. According to experts that have researched this topic, here are some of the most popular fantasies:
- Many women relish the idea of meeting up with a mystery man for uninhibited sex.
- Group sex is a popular one among the ladies. Freedom of being nude among friends is incredibly erotic.
- Many women fantasize about having an audience as they perform sexual acts. And when it comes to the time when one is not enough, most men enjoy being spoiled by two women. Men, you are not alone in this. As a matter of fact, women love this also. What could be better than having two men at once? One of the most interesting statements, from a recent survey, is the very hot idea that as one man penetrates her, the other licks her clitoris. Great fantasy, but in reality good luck finding the second guy to do the licking. The additional comment about that scenario is she wants to be blindfolded through it all. Maybe that second guy is the one that needs the blindfold.
- In the same vein with these fantasies, the desire to watch or be watched is very popular. These fantasies range from being forced to have sex in front of other people. Or, you could be the voyeur watching a stranger or someone you know.
- Women who follow all the rules may dream to let the bad girl out. I was shocked to learn that one of my favorite fantasies is high on the list for all women who fantasize. That’s the one about stripping for a roomful of men. You know they all wish they could have you, but you are in control. That drives them wild.
- Do you have an ex who rocked your world? What if you could catch up? Would the sex be that good? Or if he lets you down, that fantasy would be history.
Most women agree that acting on the fantasies in reality would never happen. There’s the fear that the real act will never be as good as the dream. Whether acted on or not, anyway you approach the topic of fantasies; they lead to exciting mind blowing sex. Love to hear some of yours. Feel free to comment and share your fantasies; or real experiences.